Whenever
I conduct a workshop in business writing, I remind people
to add the words of courtesy to their letters and memos,
words such as please, thank you, I would appreciate, etc.
And then I wait for it. Someone will invariably say, "I
thought we were supposed to be clear and concise in our
writing nowadays. Isn't saying thank you adding unnecessary
words?"
No.
No. No.
In
this century we may be the lean and mean /do more with less
society, but things still run a more smoothly — and
we project a better personal image—when we let our
warm, friendly side show.
A
good example of this—the son of the friend of mine
was walking back to work after lunch and happened to see
a zippered briefcase lying in a snow bank. Being a bright,
curious fellow, he opened the case and found inside a large
number of credit cards, car and house keys, notes on staff
and projects, computer disks—one marked curriculum
vitae—and, of course, a planning diary. (There was
no money.) Back in his office, he tried for the remainder
of the day to locate the owner, whom he identified as the
senior manager of a large, international accounting firm.
However, the man was unavailable.
It
being Friday, my friend's son took the case home with him—he
lives with his parents—and after some detective work
tracked the owner down over the week-end. On Monday morning
at 7:30 a.m. the man appeared at my friend's door demanding
his case. (The son had already left for work.) She handed
it over to the man and that was the end of it.
The
owner never bothered to say thank you to anyone. The son
was not expecting a reward—he hadn't been brought up
that way—but a thank you would have been nice. Perhaps
the man thought my friend's son had stolen the briefcase.
But then why would he go to all the trouble to return it?
The
interesting part about this story is that the man has given
himself and his company an advertising plug—and probably
not the one he wishes. My friend knows a lot of people and
this is a great story. It comes up often. Although she doesn't
mention the man's name, she does mention his company and
there is always a gasp of surprise. Who would think that
such a well-known accounting firm as this would have in
its employ a senior level manager so egotistical and so
lacking in common sense and courtesy that he couldn't even
offer a good Samaritan a thank you. In fact, now whenever
I—and I am sure a growing number of others—see
an ad or a reference to this organization, the first thing
that pops into my mind is this story.
On
a more personal tone, I find people on the internet lacking
in courtesy. Perhaps they are too busy.
Because
of my books, web page and workshops, I am often contacted
by people seeking assistance in business communications.
One woman—I had never heard of—sent this abrupt
message:
I
have to write a letter of recommendation. Send me all your
samples. Send them immediately.
(When
you are e-mailing someone for the first time, it is always
best to start with how you got their name and then follow
with the request politely phrased. People forget that when
using the written word, voice inflections are missing and
often times the statement is interpreted harsher than intended.
It may turn your reader off.)
I
can't count the number of times, I have spent time answering
a stranger's request and then never heard whether the information
was useful or appreciated. Many of my colleagues have complained
about the same thing, and some are now saying that will
ignore all requests for assistance.
But
sloppiness in the courtesy field is not limited to the internet.
Another friend was asked by an organization to donate twenty
copies of her latest book to be distributed at their conference.
She shipped the books off at her own expense and never heard
anything. No one called to thank her or to even say they
arrived. Will she donate books again? Maybe, but certainly
not to that group.
Remember,
when people go to the trouble of helping you—whether
you are meeting face-to-face, by letter, phone or e-mail—it
is important to let them know you appreciate it. It takes
such a little effort to create goodwill and build a more
co-operative, friendly world.
