Most
business people are very clear on the types of documents
they like to read: They want documents that are brief
and written in an easy-to-read style. They want documents
that get to the point quickly, state the purpose in the
beginning, and request specific action.
Today's
readers also know what they don't want: dull, boring pieces
that have no visual appeal and "sound" as if
they were written by a robot. They don't want to have
to get out their dictionaries to check the meaning of
a word. Nor do they want to sort through long, repetitious
paragraphs to find the "meat" of the message.
However,
most readers forget this when they write. They wear one
hat for reading and another for writing. That's why many
business people write documents, they wouldn't want to
read.
Here
are some of the hats business writers sport:
The
Mortarboard
The
mortarboard is an academic hat usually seen at graduation
ceremonies. People who wear this hat like to impress others
with their literary eloquence. They use long sentences,
formal phrases, and wrap up their messages in detailed
paragraphs. You may have trouble following their thoughts,
but you know their grammar is impeccable (although outdated).
They also practice sesquipedalism—using long words.
The
Bowler
The
bowler is a 19th century derby hat. And that's where these
writers belong—in another century. They rely on clichés
to deliver their messages. (Clichés are words and
phrases refreshing 50 years ago but lacking in sparkle
and sincerity today.) These are the writers who open their
letters with such lines as "Please find enclosed"
or "I wish to acknowledge receipt of your letter
of…" and end with a stale phrase, such as "Please
don't hesitate to contact me."
The
Pith Helmet
The
pith helmet is a hard hat used for protection when taking
long, difficult journeys. Following writers who wear pith
helmets can be confusing. You enter into a stream of consciousness—theirs—and
try to follow them as they ramble on and on and on until
you gasp for breath. You know if you stay with them, you
may learn something valuable, but the journey is difficult.
These writers avoid punctuation and short sentences. Some
of their sentences even double back on themselves.
"At
this point in time, it is important that we note that
sales are not as high now as they were in the past and
this cannot be stressed enough as we enter the fourth
quarter."
The
Periwig
While
technically this is not a hat, it is a head covering—a
wig popular from the 17th to 19th centuries. Normally,
writers who wear periwigs are lawyers, although others
may adopt this style. These writers use a pompous tone,
as well as outdated expressions. They prefer to write
numbers two different ways—to ensure they are understood.
Their goal is to baffle rather than inform. "In view
of the aforementioned circumstances, please find enclosed
herewith ten (10) copies of the latest ruling for your
perusal and possible furtherance."
The Baseball Cap
The
baseball cap is a modern hat, sometimes worn backwards.
Although writing styles are not as formal as they once
were, it is possible to be too informal. The baseball
cap wearers do not see the importance of good grammar
or punctuation. Their documents are riddled with unexplained
acronyms, spelling errors, incomplete sentences and half-baked
thoughts. "With regards to my TRG visit to your site
last week with John Brown and myself." They believe
writing today should be casual; they don't equate well
crafted documents with a professional image.
None of these hats are appropriate for today's business
place. What type of hat do you wear when you write?
